Does Anybody Actually Enjoy Life? I Do -- Now.

I just answered a question on Quora :

Life: Does anybody actually enjoy life?

1

Joanne Shortell, Mental Health Advocate

Despite serious mental illness (bipolar disorder and a bunch of anxiety disorders), frequent migraines, violent childhood, being next door to the first tower hit on 9/11, being divorced from the love of my life, and other painful issues, I actually enjoy life. This wasn't true earlier in my life even though fewer of those issues had happened and my mental illness was less severe. I spent decades just trying to get through life until my children were independent of me so I could commit suicide with a clear conscience.

There is actually a branch of psychology that studies what makes people feel good about their lives: Positive Psychology (see Using the new Positive Psychology on the UPenn website). Positive psychologists do scientific research to establish what works and what doesn't.  Here are some of the basics that they've found consistently:

The keys to having a life you enjoy are not what you think they are. In the long term it's not
marriage, wealth, possessions, or the good things that happen to us through luck that make us happy.

Much more effective are things which are mostly in your control and which are free (or at least inexpensive):

1. identifying your strengths and using them*
2. finding work (or hobby/interest/art etc.) in which you can lose yourself for hours (referred to as "flow")
3. doing things that are meaningful (helping others, practicing a religion, etc.)

According to the research, about 60% of our "happiness" is genetic (temperament) and 40% is within our control.

My genes are not good when it comes to happiness, but I've been able to use that 40% to good effect now that I understand how to do so. You can read about my life in my blog at Recreational Recovery: Eight Steps to a New Life

If you're looking for a "how-to" book that is based on real positive psychology research, my favorite is The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want: Sonja Lyubomirsky: 9780143114956. Lyubomirsky is a respected positive psychologist and her book summarizes the actions one can take to make life feel good along with including assessment tests that help one choose the actions most likely to work for that person. For example, I am an atheist and I'm not a spiritual person. Practicing a religion is not going to work for me, but committing to my goals and helping others will.

*You can take a free strengths test (VIA Survey of Character Strengths) at the UPenn website. Note: this long test seems to yield much more accurate results than the "Brief Strengths Test." Invest 40 minutes and take the long test.

servicehuman@servicepoodle.com
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phone: (860) 356-4637

Joanne and Maeve (her psychiatric service poodle) help people with psychiatric disabilities discover their rights to emotional support animals in no-pets housing without pet deposits or pet fees and their rights to service dogs

Joanne travels across the U.S. twice a year and would love to speak to your group.  See http://www.servicepoodle.com/service-poodle-outreach-outdoors-tour